Friday, October 31, 2008

Let me remind about ...

... all the little things that matter:

  • conserve energy supplies like water and electricity, you won't be rich forever if you ignore that.

  • when you look at someone, it'd be pretty rude to stare, so try not to do too much of that, that person might get the wrong idea, and the sight of people making a big deal of such little issue is a waste of time. You should realise that you're making yourself looking like an arse.

  • before you say something, make sure you know the consequences of saying it (especially when you're trying to joke around...), not everyone are as insensitive as some of us.

  • try and check on every penny you've spent, how much of it was used to do beneficial things, and how much was wasted.

  • be considerate, I'm not a perfect person to tell people not to be selfish (I promise that I've been an inconsiderate jerk before, but am trying to reduce all that to zero percent!), but think of this: it's just another day for you and me in paradise.. I love that song! lol

  • always be ready to expect the unexpected. Good or bad, we're only human, we'd have to go through it all without having to hurt ourselves.

  • remember to hold on to our faith... no matter if you're moslem, christian, buddha, hindu, etc. because no faith/religion would guide any of us to do the things that would bring us trouble in the end... even free-thinkers have faith, somehow.. right? No, darling, nothing of those freaky Charlie Manson's faith...

I'll continue with this again later... sakit...kaki...

Monday, October 27, 2008

Tonight! :D

heheh.. I scored the last goal for my team tonight! and I was so happy because I had my brothers and cousins to watch me play. I'm not good at it bah, but I scored! :D I S-C-O-R-E-D! It made me feel whole for a second~ because I didn't expect to contribute anything for the game... he he he.. even with this back ache (I control macho depan people, that is so me! :P ) and Eve accidentally tigak my leg, which was nothing actually... but rasa puas hati was there! :D I am very satisfied! I hope that I will do better for the real match this weekend!
And... <3 Like a Star <3 !! he he he..

Thursday, October 23, 2008

I'm Teaching Myself to Walk in Your Shoes

I think... a lot! And today, I decided to express my thoughts about what type of a person I'd want to become.
I always mentioned before that I'd hate to become a burden to anyone, or creating chaos in lives of others. Sometimes it hurts to know that I have hurt someone without me noticing it. It hurts.

If I were to walk in my Mother's shoes... I figure that she'd be constantly nervous everyday while doing her work, in the office, and as a mother of 6. She'd be thinking about what to do next, what to do tomorrow, and hoping that she could bring better future for all of us. And then, there is her sorrow. Unspoken sorrow. It's hard being alone. It's hard trying to cope with several unwanted issues, and it'd be harder if she'd have to make people listen to her, when most of them aren't trying to listen. I listened. I'm still listening. There are times that I did not follow exactly as she said, because I'm a grown person. I realise that I have my own responsibilities towards some things. My goals, my dreams. But I'd never want to see her suffer at all. I wish I could stand up and voice out all my thoughts. I wish I could make all of my dreams come true...

If I were in my Father's shoes... I guess I would be trying hard to please everyone, if I were him. He may have issues of his own, but he'd probably keeping it to himself. He'd be trying to show everyone that life is about living it the way we want to, yet at some point, he's not living his life the way he wish he could. He has to make sure that every one of us are well taken care of, even if we're very far apart. He'd want to know what's going on, but sometimes, he's not given the chance. He doesn't want to be left out of anything that is happening to us, but sometimes things are just the way they are supposed to be. He is hoping that all of us would have a bright future, but sometimes he'd be wondering if he's doing enough. Too much to handle? I have been praying everyday that I wouldn't have to be the cause of his frustration, if there is any...

My brothers... I know that there are still so much for them to learn. There are times that they'd need to make mistakes that they never knew could affect their future. There are times that they'd need to cover their mistakes, but please understand, boys, you still have a lot for you to go through later in the future. They'd be going through hard times with relationships, friends and studies... and conflicts between all those issues... and then there would be times when they misunderstand what parents are trying to tell them, sometimes ego gets the best of them, I should know, my ego is as HUGE as a HUGE something... Whatever it is, our parents wants the best for us, so please do listen.

My friends... sometimes I might be an arse. I understand. I get confused at times, when I'm supposed to do something, and when I shouldn't be doing another.. Oh, life is terrible, because I am seriously not enough of a good person, and I'd hate to point out flaws of others, so please don't make me. I'm sensitive, I figure that my friends would be so too! I hope I'm doing the right things most of the time, because I'd never know what life is without you... 'cause I'd be this person who's been living in a box. Naive and scared of everything...

The guy I like... hehehe... I just want to like you, I'd hate to freak you. Because I assume that if you were to know that I like you, you'd freak out and run. So it's best if I stay far off from you, so that I can just admire you without having you to notice that. So what if you already know? So what if you don't like me.. or if you do so? :P I'm too young to get myself hurt over and over again... for being too serious. If it ever happens between the two of us, you're going to leave me anyway.. I think. LOL. And right now I'm making myself believe that LOVE is something that would happen if it's not childish and won't hurt feelings of any other parties. LOVE is like a vow. It's so sacred, i dare not say it to you until you and I believe that you are the one! hee hee hee...

The guy who likes me... I doubt that there is any, but I always thought that if a guy ever liked me, it'd be very... fruitless. Why you'd ask? I've given up being too adult. I'm perfectly a boring person as I am, although at times I'd be lonely I wish I do have someone to care about me. All I could say is: Thank You! :) Yeah, right now is the best time to confess that I am lonely, although I'd hate to know who likes me or not... or do I? I'm a mystery to myself, why not make people wonder?

The rest who would know me... sometimes you might think that I'm being selfish talking about myself all the time like this. I am a person, I do wish I could be notice... sometimes... not all the time. I love to Love! I'd like to smile to anyone I know, or met, but I'm very scared of crazy people, or perasan people... I wish I could help, although I know I won't be much of a help at times... I am shy, I am weak, I am only human...

For those who doesn't know me, you'd probably know me one day... or you might never get the chance to know me. Whatever it is, God wills it. Appreciate what you have, those who know you , and those you may know, and anticipate everything and make yourself a paranoid freak like me...LOL! Nah.... God Bless, and live your life as you wish! :D


Sunday, October 19, 2008

What you have -- Value it!

  • I don't care if you're claiming that you have this and that..
  • never asked if you're driving a huge sports car..
  • not into knowing if you or your cousin... or your cousin's bestfriends' brother's ex's auntie-in-law is related to royalties...
  • so what if you look like Brad Pitt or Angelina J.. or anyone! You can adopt as many children you want, I still don't want to bother knowing about it...
  • But do you know why I'm bringing this issue up??


Na'ah Darlin', NO you Di'en think that way! lol.. I'm just so freakin' tired of your CONSTANT BOASTS!!! So please try really really hard to shut all of it up already the next time you decide to approach me... LOL!

~ nothing personal... just a scenario that would require understanding of some people.. :D

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Reasons I've Been Wishing I'm Mrs Fitzwilliam Darcy (Elizabeth Bennet)

Fitzwilliam Darcy, nuTt's HUBBY, of Pemberley (and a town house not named), 28, £10,000 a year. (Explanation of why his first name is "Fitzwilliam".)

~ And Colin Firth does make a very saucy Mr Darcy! :D yummyy.. Just like the gentleman he is in Bridget Jones' Diary! :D


Friday, October 17, 2008


You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.~Sam Keen

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.~Helen Keller

Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceted. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take pleasure in other peoples sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes. ~ A Walk to Remember

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it that you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.~ 10 Things I Hate About You

Monday, October 13, 2008


'...Time can bring you down
Time can bend your knees
Time can break your heart
Have you begging please
Begging please...'
Tears in Heaven, Eric Clapton

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Mari Belajar Macroeconomics

I'm so tired, I feel dumb.. maybe next time huh? Knowing that I'm going to sit for mid-term test on Tuesday makes me super stress.. mok tido eh... tido ka study...?? tido ka study????? cuba la ho... hmmm... then I'd give more details on the outcome... what the hell?? am I talking to myself now? erkk..

Friday, October 10, 2008

More to It, My Dear.

Dengarkan ini,
There are more to it than what you see
Sebenarnya ia lebih dari hasrat hati
You will never know what had happened
Di sini ku menyatakan sepenuh harapan
Breaks me to see all these happening
Seperti tiada petunjuk dari ilahi
Tonight, it's time to make it all clear

Hidup penuh dengan pancaroba
There is no such thing as an easier way out
Apabila kita perlu memberi sepenuh usaha
And we gave up
Di situ hilangnya segalanya

I wish that its not this plain
Entah ke mana arah tujuan ku
Everything I see kills me at times
Dan ku tidak mahu melukai hati mereka
I never intended to see all that
Melalui segalanya
It slices my heart as I leave it to be.

Jangan melukai hati sesiapa
But you hurt mine.

Segalanya adalah sebahagian daripada kehidupan
This is not a love poem
Tetapi adalah sebahagian daripada hidupku.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Turn to The Right Way... Never Turn Left

I have a lot to do right now, actually. But I think I should squeeze some time to express my feelings these past few days. I'm tired of emotionally being pushed by everyone. I'm trying hard not to get into other people's line. My mind's had always been drifting to space these days, and this is the best time to STOP.
I believe in the Great Power of God. I believe that I should always try to be patient, no matter what it is that befalls me. I'm an ordinary person, typical and there are times that I'd breakdown and lose it. I feel bad sometimes. I guess that was why my past left me. I'm not trying to bring up stories from there. But it bothers me, because I don't think I've been doing much of a good improvement on myself.
There are times when I actually frightened myself with my never-ending emotional nonsense. In the end, I'd be embarassing myself and would pressure my emotions worst. Sounds very stupid right? I know. Imagine being the person that has to face all that, unintentionally.
I enjoy looking at other people being happy, especially if I have something to do with it :) . And it'd hurt badly to see someone being sad and sorry for themselves. And I promise, that I'd feel worst if it happened because of me. How can I ever make everyone happy? How could I live knowing that I've hurt feelings of people I love and care about and the feelings of people I may not know much about? I am always scared of all that. I hope that I'd never be too late to do the right things. I hope that I'd repent and focus on doing the better things in life. I'd hate to burden anyone, although I fairly know that i have been such a drag to my parents' lives... and probably to some members of my family, and friends.. sorry eh. I'll always love all of them :'( I'm so emo now, that I'm close to tears. DAMN IT! gaaahh!!!

Monday, October 06, 2008


please do not double that one!

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Trouble Sleeping by Corinne Bailey Rae

It's late and I'm feeling so tired
Having trouble sleeping.
This constant compromise
Between thinking and breathing.
Could it be I'm suffering
Because I'm never give in?
Won't say that I'm falling in love
Tell me I don't seem myself
Couldn't I blame something else?
Just don't say I'm falling in love
Some kind of therapy
Is all I need
Please believe me
Some instant remedy
That can cure me completely
Could it be that I'm suffering
Because I'll never give in?
Won't say that I'm falling in love
Tell me I don't seem myself
Couldn't I blame something else?
Just don't say I'm falling in love
'cause I've been there before and it's not enough
So nobody say it
Don't even say it
I ve got my eyes shut
Won't look, oh
No, I'm not in love
Could it be I'm suffering
Because I'll never give in?
Won't say that I'm falling love
Tell me I don't seem myself good enough for something else
Just don't say I'm falling in love
Falling in love
Just don't say I'm falling in love
Oh, yeah
Falling love ooh
Oh, oh, don't say that I'm falling in love,
don't say that, oh
Just don't say that I'm falling in love, yeah
Just don't say that I'm falling in love
Don't say but in the answer
'Cause I'll never give in
Falling in love

*note to self:
- try to sleep.
- try not to think too much
- try not to be silly
- o God, this song reminds me that I need therapy!