Friday, February 27, 2009

A Tale About Sudden Thoughts

This morning, I woke up a bit early. About 6 am. God I love waking up early. It kinda makes me feel human. Right after performing the morning prayer, I had breakfast (tuna in olive oil with egg and bread, and cup of coffee), and then straight to my laptop, nengok Facebook yang teramat rindu...
While I was wondering around in FB, a friend popped out of the FBChat (pop la nak? it sounded so). He was all so jiwang, talking about how he's missing Kuching and all his friends here. I was like... WHERE ARE YOU?? Paduhal kat NZ. He's been diving and by the way he's been expaining it, I think he's becoming like a nelayan (fisherman) I'm not sure la.. that's what I thought. lol. So he's been diving for fish and sea creatures that are edible (seafood la kan) in the waters of.... I'm not quite sure where in New Zealand, but he did say that it was 1 and a half hours from Auckland, macam bunyi dah working jak. So I asked him if he had caught tunas blom, and he was like... TUNA SITOK BESAR AGIK.... ikan tongkol sia besar gik (and why did I have to repeat that agik ka? because I just wanted to remind people that tuna=ikan tongkol kali :P) !!!!! And he made me lapar all over again... lol. He started telling me that if I purchase canned tuna, I have to make sure that the tuna has yellow fin and NEVER get the blue-finned ones.. (or was it the other way round...erk). Whatever it is, the ones that should never be bought is the one that was dead before the fisherman caught it (I guess that means that it's something like a carcass? ewwww...) and it wouldn't be halal, meaning it'd be all unhealthy if we consume it.. and he even told me that he caught oysters (or was it clams) and made olio for
At about 11.40 am, I was already at my own place (because I'm staying with my grandma), after having a nice shower, I collapsed onto my bed with a mighty migraine...
The day was so bright, that I decided to put on the facial mask I bought 2 days ago, and shut my eyes for awhile... then, I suddenly thought about the carcass... org jual ikan pun dah mati ba. You can't cook fishes while they are still flapping around, choking (yerr... tetauk jak) for water.. bimbo li statement ya~ yeah, and then I was thinking.. you know when we go out to seafood restaurants, most of the time we get to choose live crabs, or lobsters, or prawns, and even fishes for the chef too cook our FRESH seafood dinner. Does that mean that the crabs, lobsters, prawns and fishes that died a few hours before is not fresh anymore? hmm??? Because if it is so, one day if I ever want to cook fresh seafood, do I'd have to dip the sea creatures into boiling water while they're still moving and flapping..ishhh..... I love to eat you... but I can't bear that sympathetic feeling... and if I don't boil the creatures in the boiling hot water, that would mean that I'd have to bonk the body with that hammer looking cooking utensil with sharp pointy ends on it.... saddistic... *picturing myself hammering on dozens of tiger prawns that are moving about in the kitchen sink*.... gelik... All I can do now is to just hope that my future husband will be good at cooking fresh seafood meals. I'll just stick to the all-easy-less-stressful and conventional way of cooking seafood. I feel horrible.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

It starts with an Ass and it ends with a WHY??

Have you figured out the title of this post yet? Ass? WHY??
Okay here's the clue... say it out loud and probably you'll get the idea, and if you don't... I'll try and explain to you the meaning right now.
I'm trying to describe my definition of the word SORRY, actually (it starts with an "S" and it ends with a"Y"). Every apologies usually start with and Ass=orang yang tidak berguna (or so most of us would perceive it) and it'll end up with many of us wondering WHY do we or anyone, from the other party, apologise. WHY?
Sometimes I'd start questioning myslf, if I feel sorry or guilty about something.. WHY do I feel that way? Why do I even care? Why is it so hard to say it? :P (always the case) ... and WHY do I need to find the words to get everything right BEFORE and AFTER saying it? WHY is it so HARD? lol.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

<3 Happy! HAPPY!!!!!! I LOVE EVERYONE! I LOVEEEEEEEEE (Munee... I told you Imma go like this these days! But I didn't go SMS anyone yet this time.. LOL).. LOVE LOVE~ I love my family... friends... teachers... lecturers... neighbors... the people who hates me... and even those people that i don't know! hahahahhaha! :D I'm so glad that everyone seem so HAPPY!!!! I'm havin' all the jitters now..... waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Why am I so excited? :D
I sayang... Sayang... SAYANG YOU! :D heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..... *all-psyched*

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

POP! goes my heart...

I've been living with a shadow overhead,

I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed,

I've been lonely for so long, Trapped in the past,

I just can't seem to move on!

(Hugh Grant)I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away,

Just in case I ever need them again someday,

I've been setting aside time,

To clear a little space in the corners of my mind!

[Chorus](Both)All I wanna do is find a way back into love.

I can't make it through without a way back into love.

Ooo hooow

[Verse 2](Drew Barrymore)I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine,

I've been searching but I just don't see the signs,

I know that it's out there,

There's got to be something from my soul somewhere!

(Hugh Grant)I've been looking for someone to shed some light,

Not somebody just to get me through the night,

I could use some direction,

And I'm open to your suggestions.

[Chorus](Both)All I wanna do is find a way back into love.

I can't make it through without a way back into love.

And if I open my heart again,

I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end!

[Middle-eight](Drew Barrymore)There are moments when I don't know if it's real

Or if anybody feels the way I feel I need inspiration

Not just another negotiation

[Chorus](Both)All I wanna do is find a way back into love,

I can't make it through without a way back into love,

And if I open my heart to you,

I'm hoping you'll show me what to do,

And if you help me to start again,

You know that I'll be there for you in the end!

As I was half-crying, on the Phone with Mai... my damped eyes caught...

Three of my favourite musicians played music together?? <3

*sniffs* and... I wish you didn't have to go. I'm going to miss you... :'(


by Estrella

Ku lihat dia
Pandangan pertama
Ternyata indah
Senyuman liriknya
Ku ingin dia
Saat pertama
Berjumpa dengannya
Membuat ku gelisah
Waktu berlalu
Hari demi hari
Hatiku dambakannya
Untuk bercinta lagi
Ku lihat dia
Pandangan pertama
Berjumpa dengannya
Membuat ku gelisah
Waktu berlalu
Hari demi hari
Hatiku dambakannya
Untuk bercinta lagi

** I've been looking for this song, and I was surprised it was sung by Estrella. lol. I'm no big fan of theirs (I'm so sick of theri song, Stay, not that I hate it or anything, but every one anywhere has been singing or playing it... lejuk bah!), but for the sake of this song yes. Thank you for helping me reach the inner me HAHAHAHA! so deep..

Monday, February 16, 2009

Why? (2008-2009)

Why did I listen?
Just so you know that I care
And I'll always be there
And you know that it's fair
'cause you'll never fail to be there

Why did I say?
'cause there are truth in it, I'm sure
Maybe sometimes there are no other cure
And other times I need them to hear
And in me there are/were also fear

Why did I stop?
Maybe I couldn't help it
Maybe I didn't mean it
Sometimes it makes me hypocrite
There is no use denying it

Why did I dare?
You are apart of my life
And I love, I can't lie
I told you that, I didn't deny
And I know -- it won't just die

Why did I stop?
Certain things have to happen
Every thing were omens
Making ways, it made me different
But changes froze me, so things could happen

Why did I lie?
Pretense is the word we shall use
We are merely huma, and we abuse
The human thoughts, just to be amused
But come along now, see here, look at me as I lose

Why not the truth?
You don't believe in it, then why should I?
Without the truth, we won't die
So there are times that we each would pry
Come on, together now, what are you waiting for, let us lie, Lie, LIE!

Why me?
Because you choose to believe so
Close your eyes and imagine more
It was really hard to learn this though
I wish it'd happenned earlier, probably just before

Why you?
I guess I opt to believe so
I might be wrong, but there'd be nothing to score
There is no losing, no winning you know
I wish it didn't occur, I could've just stored

Why didn't you?
Well, I wouldn't know
'Cause you'll never show
It might be too late, so come on, let's bow
And leave it here, live it for now

Why didn't I?
I'm afraid, I do fear
One wrong step, you'll disappear
My friend, I do too have fears
I am human too, remember, dear..

PS: Just thought I should remind you, we're merely human, and we shall never be free from making mistakes. And apologies to whom who still think I've been trying to hurt them. Maybe I did, maybe it was not purposely done. I'm sorry anyway, I do. And I never take anything seriously, I was never badly injured through any rough times I have been through. <3 and peace.

Patience of a Reserved Lady

She wakes up early to present the day
Of one, two, three and more altogether
She'll cook, clean, iron and then she sprays
Whine and grunts, she will never bother

She'll do the washing, the calculating
She organises, she will prepare
Not a day without her caring
Everything else will be just and fair

She'll dust the cabinet
She'll drive the car
She plays the clarinet
And she goes far

Nevertheless, this is her life
Reward her with a tenderness
She is a daughter, as she is wife
She is your mother, the lady of AWESOMENESS!

As time goes by, millions of seconds
Or mabe minutes, hours or days
She'll cherish love towards her husband,
Her children, parents, friends and prays:

"So this is the life You have bestowed me
A humble servant, accepting thee
I thank you God, your gift to me
For I shall love them endlessly..."

Talking in Whispers

Secrets you call it
Not a word to anyone else
Just a whisper as we meet
Of the Things we know we did

Shut their eyes without them knowing
Distant kisses that we're constantly blowing
Hush now, slowly the glory we're feeling
Hush now, secrets we're never telling

Let us pretend though nothing happenned
Let us believe that it's concrete wall
It's not as though that we do this often
I'll meet you there -- in the empty hall

Shut their eyes without them knowing
Distant kisses that we're constantly blowing
Hush now, slowly the glory we're feeling
Hush now, secrets we're never telling

Let us pretend, then the world is ours
That nothing here, ever has to matter
Colourful dancers, butterflies in our minds
As we awake they will all be gone...

Lagu Cinta

by Dewa

Aku jatuh cinta,
'tuk sekian kali
Baru kali ini kurasakan
Cinta sesungguhnya
Tak seperti dulu
Kali ini ada pengorbanan
Chorus: Cinta bukan sekedar kata-kata indah
Cinta bukan sekedar buaian belaian peraduan
Samudera cinta dari pulung hati
Tak terukur dalamnya
Hingga saat perpisahan tiba
Mengundang air mata
Atau hanya secuil penyesalan
Chorus: Cinta adalah ruang dan waktu
Datang dan menghilang
Semua karunia
Sang Pencipta
Mungkinkah kau sedang menatap bulan
Bulan sabit yang sedang kupandangi
Mungkinkah kamu menangis
Diatas bintang khayalku
Chorus: Maafkanlah cinta
Atas kabut jiwa
Yang menutupi pandangan kalbu
Chorus: Cinta adalah ruang dan waktu
Datang dan menghilang
Semua karunia
Sang Pencipta

** the first thing that caught me while was watching this video was when the guy suddenly faints at the beginning... lol it's funny... but yeah, sad at the same time, kan? But this song somehow reflects the another different perspective of love la kan? adow.. very deep..

Sunday, February 15, 2009

My Valentine's Day

Yesterday... I spent my Valentine's Day cooking. I made lasagne and truffles for the whole family, of course with some help from Ben, Nabeil, Isaac and Adeen.... *coughs* and of course I put aside some for my date, Sin, and I honestly hope that he liked it...and he told me that he was so kenyang after the lasagne and the satays he bought that night.. lol <3 and yea.. he got me something too :D
Later that night, after dinner at Bing's, we headed to Effa's birthday party at her home... Happy Birthday BABY! :) and her baby niece is ADORABLE! I plan to fix her to be one of Zachary's future playmates one day. haha! and she had so many people there.. we met up with Gwen and Izzurul .. I kinda miss my friends la! and Effa's cake was... scrumptious! lapar eh.. and then the four of us planned to go lepak somewhere... but IZZURUL! why did you ditch us??? So, I went off with Sin and Gwen... to Bing. And boy, was Bing full... so we decided to drive to airport's Starbucks... and me and Sin had Raspberry *sumthing* juice... while Gwen had Hazelnut Hot Chocolate... heheh.. just because her name is Hazel. lololol... and the two of us started taking picturess..of ourselves.. macam la sikda kerja lain! :D
We sent Gwen back.. and Sin sent me back home. He's such an adorable date :D and I hope that I was not over-dressed for the date lastnight.. I was afraid I was ... because I had so much to do yesterday, I lost track of time.. and then I think I stenched of onions, garlic and cheese.. :(
I enjoyed the night, and I hope that Sin did too.. and Gwen too of course.. :D I love Vday!

Friday, February 13, 2009

Happy Valentine's Day <3

<3 Happy Valentine's Day! <3

This year, I vow that I will Love more and think positive all through... at least I'll try, but I have a feeling that it won't be that hard la right? :D


huhhh... I'm so tired.. goodnight!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Hidup Ini Indah

by Dewa <youtube video>
matahari menyinari seisi bumi
seperti Engkau
menyinari perih dalam jasadku ini selamanya
seperti hujan
Kau basahi jiwa yang kering

reff: hidup ini indah bila aku selalu
ada di sisi
Mu setiap waktu
hingga aku hembuskan nafas yang terakhir
dan kita pun bertemu

Kau bagai udara yang ku hirup
di setiap masa
Engkaulah darah
yang mengalir dalam nadiku
repeat reff
maafkanlah selalu salahku
karena Kau memang pemaaf
dan aku hanya manusia

repeat reff
hanya Kau dan aku
dalam awal dan akhir

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Those That I Miss!

I miss these Cuckoos~ Yesterday Azie suddenly came to me on MSN and started saying that she misses me...!!! emo tau~ KISS KISS KISS KISS for all of you! and AZAM HONEY... HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY BABE~ jaga anak ya Jess <3 I love y'all!

Sunday, February 08, 2009

P.D.A. (We Just Don't Care)

by John Legend <click here for video>
Let's go to the park
I wanna kiss you underneath the stars
Maybe we'll go too far
We just don't care,
We just don't care,
We just don't care.
You know I love you when you're loving me
Sometimes it's better when it's publicly
I'm not ashamed, I don't care who sees
Us hugging & kissing our love exhibition all
We'll rendezvous out on the fire escape
I'd like to set off an alarm today
The love emergency don't make me wait
Just follow I'll lead you
I urgently need you
Let's go to the park
I wanna kiss you underneath the stars
Maybe we'll go too far
We just don't care
We just don't care
We just don't
Let's make love, let's go somewhere they might discover us
Let's get lost in lust
We just don't care,
We just don't care,
We just don't care.
I see you closing down the restaurant
Let's sneak and do it when your boss is gone
Everybody's leaving we'll have some fun
Or maybe it's wrong but you're turning me on.
Ooh, we'll take a visit to your Mama's house
Creep to the bedroom while your Mama's out
Maybe she'll hear it when we scream and shout
And we'll keep it rocking until she comes knocking
Let's go to the park
I wanna kiss you underneath the stars
Maybe we'll go too far
We just don't care,
We just don't care,
We just don't...
Let's make love,
Let's go somewhere they might discover us.
Let's get lost in lust
We just don't care,
We just don't care,
We just don't care.
If we keep up on this fooling around
We'll be the talk of the town
I'll tell the world I'm in love any time
Let's open up the blinds 'cause we really don't mind
Ooh I don't care about the propriety
Let's break the rules and ignore society
Maybe our neighbors like to spy, it's true
So what if they watch when we do what we do
Oh, let's go to the park
I wanna kiss you underneath the stars
Maybe we'll go too far
We just don't care,
We just don't care,
We just don't...
Let's make love, let's go somewhere they might discover us...

Sunday, February 01, 2009


CONFIDENCE is the one thing that I am lacking. I'm always scared of doing some things, thus I'd hold back. No matter personal or non-personally, I would choose to backdown and not go on with things, because I am scared that if I proceed on, all my attempts won't be fruitful as I had imagined = disappontments, frustrations and such..
I may not be the only one thinking this way. After many downfalls, I realised that I've not been doing much to get to where I want, thus the failures. Failing is not because of not holding that victory/success. Failing is NOT TRYING. I just realised that.
And another thing I realised is that you might also need someone there who believes in your capabilities on what you CAN do, like you've never known you could. TRY HARDER. You might just get somewhere, without even noticing it. Be Strong, and if you believe that it might work out, it'll always will. Put your whole heart to it, and if you really want it, like SUPER-DUPERLY want it like BAD, that will somehow become an influence to get you to enhance your willing to work harder on it. BENAR!
Oh, but right now, I'm all talk and no action. LoL. I'm still in the process of trying to do something that I REALLY REALLY (tambah another REALLY here because 3 is a MAGIC Blind Melon) want to do, fighting for something I am very sure I deserve, and hopefully, with God's will, I will achieve success <3

And whatever it is that you want to do, remember to NEVER do things WITHOUT any good intentions, because.. OH COME ON~ I don't want to start with another cliche! You know what I'm trying to say here~!