I have a lot to do right now, actually. But I think I should squeeze some time to express my feelings these past few days. I'm tired of emotionally being pushed by everyone. I'm trying hard not to get into other people's line. My mind's had always been drifting to space these days, and this is the best time to STOP.
I believe in the Great Power of God. I believe that I should always try to be patient, no matter what it is that befalls me. I'm an ordinary person, typical and there are times that I'd breakdown and lose it. I feel bad sometimes. I guess that was why my past left me. I'm not trying to bring up stories from there. But it bothers me, because I don't think I've been doing much of a good improvement on myself.
There are times when I actually frightened myself with my never-ending emotional nonsense. In the end, I'd be embarassing myself and would pressure my emotions worst. Sounds very stupid right? I know. Imagine being the person that has to face all that, unintentionally.
I enjoy looking at other people being happy, especially if I have something to do with it :) . And it'd hurt badly to see someone being sad and sorry for themselves. And I promise, that I'd feel worst if it happened because of me. How can I ever make everyone happy? How could I live knowing that I've hurt feelings of people I love and care about and the feelings of people I may not know much about? I am always scared of all that. I hope that I'd never be too late to do the right things. I hope that I'd repent and focus on doing the better things in life. I'd hate to burden anyone, although I fairly know that i have been such a drag to my parents' lives... and probably to some members of my family, and friends.. sorry eh. I'll always love all of them :'( I'm so emo now, that I'm close to tears. DAMN IT! gaaahh!!!
Thursday, October 09, 2008
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